For years my writing was connected with me being sick and I am not sick anymore. I was also afraid that my writing wouldn’t be interesting enough anymore now I am not sick anymore. But I don’t write to be interesting. I write because I like to write and because I ‘need’ it.
I had to say goodbye to everything. How strange it may sound, being sick almost felt good. If you are sick for this long it becomes your ‘normal’. You feel safe with being sick. You know where your boundaries are.
If you start feeling well enough to do more things you have to cross those boundaries, you have to dare, you need to gain trust in yourself again.
At first you feel abandoned by your own body. Then you are astonished about how strong your body really is in healing itself. On the inside you know you came out stronger but it is kind of scary on the outside.
What if I am wrong? What If my body abandons me again?
You kind of say goodbye to all what was to gain trust in yourself again. Thinking back about all I have gone through brings out a certain amount of emotions. And sometimes it is just hard.
What kind of direction I am going to give to my blog? What I am going to talk about or how often I will write? I don’t know.
What I do know is that I like writing. I feel good when I write.
I feel good again.
So……… We will see.