I am one of those nagging ex-smokers.
Halfway that is, I only nag at home, all 3 “kids” smoke.
I still go to the pub and to visit friends who smoke, and I don’t really have a problem with it.
Last year, all 3 quit smoking, but I think the stress of my operation became too much for them, so they started smoking again.
Last year I also painted the house, between the cerebral hemorrhage and the operation, some kind of occupational therapy I think.
And H. did most of the painting, I wasn’t up to it at all.
A nice clean, fresh house is now being ruined again with the smoking.
My clothes stink.
They smell out of their mouths.
Things like that are what I am nagging about.
I quit smoking for over a year now, and I am not going to smoke again either, but sometimes there is still that feeling of, “yummy a cigarette”.
Looking back I am even glad I smoked.
I know that sounds strange.
But my cerebral hemorrhage is due to a birth defect, I was born with bad spots in my veins, because of smoking the time of when they would burst was brought forward.
So I had a cerebral hemorrhage at the age of 46.
Because of this cerebral hemorrhage, they found another bad spot on my other carotoid artery which was about to burst.
So I needed an operation, a major one , through my skull.
This other artery bursting could have happen soon, but it could also have burst in ten years.
But what happens when you need an operation like that?
They look at your life expectancy.
So if you are 46, you still have almost a whole life ahead of you, you will get the operation you need.
If I would have been 66 for example, than I probably would have died in ten years anyway, so I might as well die from the bleeding, so no operation is needed.
I waited for 10 months for this operation to take place, with a timebomb in my head, and I was slowly going crazy.
I think if I had to walk around wit hit for 10 years, you could have locked me up in an institution.
Kind of bizarre, isn’t it?
In a way smoking saved my life.