Cozy

Since I feel better, my boys (17 and 18) are more active again. They started skateboarding again. They like it so much that I gave the boys a skateboard/longboard. My daughter (24) is searching for what she likes a bit, she thinks everything is scary so I gave her arm and leg protectors first. She still has roller-skates and can borrow a board from her brothers.

My kids being more active can be a coincidence. But I think it goes together with how I feel and what they have been through with me.
It is a lot. First almost losing your mom and then seeing her struggle to get her life back for one and a half years. So I think they deserved a present.
I am happy they are spending less time behind their computers now and are living again.

And I? I still had inline skates. First I practiced a bit in the garage but I was doing ok. I need some more street experience. I can’t brake so well and that is an important part of skating LOL.

Surprisingly my back feels better too. Less pain and less stiff.
So we all went out together.
Cozy!

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Overloaded

Last night I have been crying for a while.

I was already tired this whole week, from starting up my blog, and than my daughter came home again, she is living here now.

The whole week I have been busy , translating (all the instructions for my blog is in English and I am Dutch) , understanding all of it and bringing everything into use, to get my blog together.
And this is taking so much energy, that I shouldn’t do anything else, but normal life goes on too.

It is then that I notice very much, that all isn’t ok yet with those brains of mine. I am not my “old” self yet.

Normally you sleep a long night and then everything is ok again, but now, it will probably take a week or so, to become rested again. It is so frustrating.

And then my daughter came home to live here again.

This happens exactly on the most tiring day of my week, Thursday.
On this day I have to swim, do fitness and therapy, all on one day in rehab. And I was already tired from starting up my blog, so………… I was grumpy all day.
The next day we created some order in all her boxes, created a sleeping place, because I don’t have a spare bedroom.

And in the evening, when I was alone again, all I could do was CRY.

It is all too much for me. It still is, I start crying again now just thinking about it.

Instead of getting more rest, it becomes busier here.

It will all have it’s reason.
I know she will help me a bit around the house, and it is always cozy talking with her, so if all the mess is gone again, it will all be ok again.

And my blog, most of it is working, so that pressure will become less too.

Being busy with all this, also means , I’m not working on myself.
I hardly did write anything last week, I didn’t feel enough, I didn’t think about myself enough. So that “bucket” overflows.

All my “buckets” are overflowing.

I am “overloaded”.